For Teens

girl-5If you or someone you know is involved in an abusive relationship there are numerous resources available to get help now.

I remember all too well how alone I felt trapped inside my relationship. I was very afraid to share my situation with anyone, even my parents, siblings, and most trusted friends.

Everyone has the right to live a life free from abuse, and reaching out for help is the first step toward living the life you deserve.

*Early warning signs that your date may eventually become abusive:

  • Extreme jealousy
  • Controlling behavior
  • Quick involvement
  • Unpredictable mood swings
  • Alcohol and drug use
  • Explosive anger
  • Isolates you from friends and family
  • Uses force during an argument
  • Shows hypersensitivity
  • Believes in rigid sex roles
  • Blames others for his problems or feelings
  • Cruel to animals or children
  • Verbally abusive
  • Abused former partners
  • Threatens violence

Dating Safety

  • Consider double-dating the first few times you go out with a new person.
  • Before leaving on a date, know the exact plans for the evening and make sure a parent or friend knows these plans and what time to expect you home. Let your date know that you are expected to call or tell that person when you get in.
  • Be aware of your decreased ability to react under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
  • If you leave a party with someone you do not know well, make sure you tell another person you are leaving and with whom. Ask a friend to call and make sure you arrived home safely.
  • Assert yourself when necessary. Be firm and straightforward in your relationships.
  • Trust your instincts. If a situation makes you uncomfortable, try to be calm and think of a way to remove yourself from the situation.

From the Domestic Violence Advocacy Program of Family Resources, Inc. and The Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

Safety Planning for Teens

Thinking ahead about ways to be safe if your relationship if you are in a dangerous or potentially dangerous relationship can help prevent a critical event or worse death. Here are some things to consider in designing your own safety plan.

  • What adults can you tell about the violence and abuse?
  • What people at school can you tell in order to be safe–teachers, principal, counselors, security?
  • Discuss involving the police and employing the use of a restraining order as part of your plan with trusted adults.
  • Consider changing your school locker or lock.
  • Consider changing your route to/from school.
  • Use a buddy system for going to school, classes and after school activities.
  • What friends can you tell to help you remain safe?
  • If stranded, who could you call for a ride home?
  • Keep a journal describing the abuse.
  • Get rid of or change the number to any cell phones, or paging devices, the abuser gave you.
  • Keep spare change, calling cards, number of the local shelter, number of someone who could help you and restraining orders with you at all times.
  • Where could you go quickly to get away from an abusive person?
  • What other things can you do?

There are many resources available for you or someone you know, to get help from. Keep in mind the first 72 hours are the most dangerous for a victim of abuse.

Not sure if your relationship is unhealthy? Take the relationship quiz on the Love is Respect Website.

Have a friend you are worried about? Get some tips from Love is Respect on ways to support a friend.

Immediate Danger: 911
National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline: 1-866-331-9474
Break the Cycle
Love Is Respect
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233
See It and Stop It! Organization
Do Something Organization